Sunday, 31 March 2013

Day 1564 - Another to add to the pile?

Dashed hopes, yet again.

Last week I went to see a physiotherapist whom a friend swore by. Apparently he has cured all sorts of “incurable” patients, including a little boy who could barely walk. The child was up and running in no time after seeing him on a regular basis for a few weeks.

I immediately liked the doctor when I saw him, which I think is of great importance when it comes to treatment. He exerted pressure on my headache point and looked at my neck and jaw. He looked at me and said “I am 95% sure I know what it is. You’ll be fine” My immediate reaction was to tell him not to be overly confident given that I have been battling with this monster for over four years. Nonetheless, a little part of me deep inside wanted to sob with joy. All sorts of rhetorical questions flew around my mind: “Can you imagine if in two weeks you don’t have a headache?!”, “What will it be like?!” I even set myself all sorts of goals if the headache left me for good.

My second (and so far last) session a few days ago had a slightly different outcome. I told the doctor that there had been no difference in the headache since the first session. In fact, if anything, it had got slightly worse. He played around with the headache again, hitting the exact spot. As he was manipulating me, I could tell that he was also baffled.

“My patients all notice a difference after the first treatment. Come back next week for the final one, but if it hasn’t gone by then, then I can’t help you”. That was the end of our session. At this comment I also felt like crying, yet this time out of despair and disappointment. I warned him, “I told you I am an unusual case”.

I now feel indifferent at the third session which will take place in a few days. I would love to believe the headache will go away but I can’t imagine it will do so given that there has been no difference in the last two weeks. As I left I thought about an interesting fact that my mother told me years ago and which I believe I have mentioned in a previous blog post. In ancient times, Chinese doctors were only remunerated once they cured a patient. If they didn’t cure them, then that meant they didn’t carry out their job properly and thereby didn’t get paid. Should it not be like this now, especially after having been given dashed hopes, yet again? I thought to myself, what am I paying for here? For another sheet to add to my headache folder?