Day 950 - Vitamin B12

"Vitamin B12, also known as Cobalamin, is a water-soluble vitamin which is very important for a number of key biological pathways, including nerve function, cell growth, cell membranes and energy production.

It is an essential nutrient available exclusively from bacterial sources, ie in the diet, or through the action of gut bacteria. As Vitamin B12 is manufactured by bacteria in animal guts, you should be able to get it from red meat, fish and dairy products.

There are two main causes of Vitamin B12 deficiency – where the body can’t get B12 from your diet; and where the body can’t use it. Both can develop over a period of years or happen suddenly.

B12 is a robust molecule and survives cooking. One of the few things that can break it is a microwave oven. Even if you don’t use a microwave yourself, it’s possible that foods containing B12 have been irradiated to stop microbes growing, which might break down B12.

B12 deficiency typically makes you extremely tired (including Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and can lead to depression; other symptoms include dizziness, hair loss, pins and needles, loss of memory, gastritis and constant headaches."*

* www.b12d.org
* http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/vitaminb12/

I have been seeing the kinesiologist for about two years now. The last time I saw him my muscle testing showed that Vitamin B12 would strengthen my system. I am now on a rather high dose, at six a day.

I had taken these supplements already a few months ago but it appears that my body still has a deficiency in B12. I have done some research on this vitamin which, according to certain studies, a vast part of the population is deficient in. People who suffer from intestinal disorders are particularly at risk, as their bodies are unable to absorb the vitamin. Given that IBS, for example, is such a common illness, this to me could mean that a good part of the population may well also have a B12 deficiency.

Given my recent unsettled stomach and considering that I don’t particularly eat a lot of red meat or dairy products, let alone fish, lacking in B12 hasn’t come as too much of a surprise to me.

The headache is still hovering at a 1, which is perfectly acceptable to live with. When I think back at how bad it was at the beginning, at about 9/10, making me scream in agony at night and bang my head against the bed, I feel grateful not to feel like that again. And all I can do is hope it will not flare up to such horrid levels again.

The mystery remains as to what is causing it – even the kinesiologist, who is so passionate about his work and who is determined to find a solution to my headache, said to me the other day: ‘No wonder no one knows what your headache is - every time something new comes up!’. Even he is baffled as to what could be the underlying cause, but given the progress I have seen since my first appointment two years ago, my faith in curing my headache relies entirely on him.

Day 851 - Stomach Acidity

H. Pylori is easily inhibited by raising stomach acid, provided this is done before much damage is done by the bug, which is the reason why people with normal acid levels are generally asymptomatic and don't get ulcers unless they are on certain drugs or consume large amounts of alcohol. Coffee has been found to aggravate the symptoms of H. Pylori infections.

Unfortunately, people with reduced acid levels often times suffer from what they assume is high stomach acid (heartburn, bloating, nausea, frequent burping), and as a result frequently take antacids. By doing so, they encourage greater H. Pylori activity and thus increase the risk for ulcers or gastric cancers, with the bug also being implicated for heart disease, gum disease, asthma, rosacea, and chronic headaches or migraines as well. If patients had indeed high acid levels (as some physicians still have them believe), then why do symptoms quickly improve when stomach acid levels are raised?

The confusion usually stems from the fact that esophageal reflux (GERD) causes heartburn, from acid getting up into the esophagus, which doesn't have the acid-protective mucus coating of the stomach. However, H. pylori reduces stomach acid.

The paradox IS that having enough stomach acid keeps the valve to the esophagus closed so it cannot be harmed by stomach fluids. Also when the stomach produces stomach acid it also produces bicarbonate of soda. Bicarbonate of soda is what protects the stomach lining from being damaged by the acid. Therefore, it stands to reason that IF the stomach isn't producing enough acid it also won't be producing enough bicarbonate of soda which also allows ulcers to form inside the stomach.

Low stomach acid can be a factor with headaches, chronic fatigue, non-specific aches and pains, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis and other calcium metabolism-impaired problems -- all the way to various cancers.

*http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/articles/dig10.php

I have been reading around on Helicobacter Pylori as my stomach has been playing up again as of late. I felt very weak and dizzy the other day, and slept for 10 hours – even when I woke up I was still exhausted. My body must have been fighting something off (yet again I wish I knew what..) – that total lack of energy must have been due to something.

I got tested again for Helicobacter Pylori a couple of days ago; the result was negative. Odd, given that I have not been feeling too well again, with a painful stomach coinciding with an increase in the headache pain. H. Pylori causes stomach acidity, which I am sure I still have, despite the bacteria having been killed off. As a consequence, I am being extremely careful with what I am eating.

I came across a Helicobacter Pylori specialist’s webpage with plenty of information on the bacteria and how it affects your stomach as well as other parts of your body. What I found very interesting was the relation between Helicobacter Pylori and headaches, as well as many other secondary factors it can contribute to, such as rosacea, sinus problems, sleep problems and cognitive and memory problems, and many more.

Day 746 - Helicobacter Pylori

“While "stress" was a popular basis for stomach ulcers years ago, Helicobacter Pylori has become a primary cause for peptic and duodenal ulcers since its discovery by two Australian doctors, Robin Warren, M.D., and Barry Marshall, M.D., in the early 80's.

Helicobacter pylori is a spiral shaped bacterium that lives in the stomach and duodenum. It used to be thought that the stomach contained no bacteria and was actually sterile, but Helicobacter pylori changed that.

The stomach is protected from its own gastric juice by a thick layer of mucus that covers the stomach lining. Helicobacter pylori takes advantage of this protection by living in the mucus lining. Once H. pylori is safely ensconced in the mucus, it is able to fight the stomach acid that does reach it with an enzyme it possesses called urease.

Another defense H. pylori has is that the body's natural defenses cannot reach the bacterium in the mucus lining of the stomach. The immune system will respond to an H. pylori infection by sending white cells, killer T cells, and other infection fighting agents. However, these potential H. pylori eradicators cannot reach the infection, because they cannot easily get through stomach lining. They do not go away either, though, and the immune response grows and grows. Polymorphs die, and spill their destructive compounds (superoxide radicals) on stomach lining cells. Extra nutrients are sent to reinforce the white cells, and the H. pylori can feed on this. within a few days, gastritis and perhaps eventually a peptic ulcer results. It may not be H. pylori itself which causes peptic ulcer, but the inflammation of the stomach lining; i.e. the response to H. pylori.

H. pylori is believed to be transmitted orally. Many researchers think that H, pylori is transmitted orally by means of fecal matter through the ingestion of waste tainted food or water."*

*http://h-pylori-symptoms.com/h-pylori-symptoms/
http://www.acu-cell.com/dis-hpy.html

I had an endoscopy a couple of weeks ago and, sure enough, I have Helicobacter Pilori and bad stomach acidity. The gastroenterologist prescribed some antibiotics for two weeks, which I have just finished taking today.

The medicines have made me feel drowsy and have, on occasion, strengthened the headache. On the plus side, the severe stomach pain has gone, and now only a feeling of mild discomfort remains. I have also been prescribed some acid-reducing medicines which I need to take for the next few weeks.

Given that 50% of the world’s population is infected with H. Pilori and the majority are asymptomatic, I have no idea how long I have had the bacteria for. It may be that I have been harbouring it for months, or even years, and that it only started manifesting symptoms as of late.

I recently read that there is a connection between H. Pilori and headaches: “It is not clear how Helicobacter pylori infections cause headaches and migraines. However studies have shown that migraines can clear once Helicobacter has been eradicated. It is likely that immune responses, hormone imbalances and neural factors caused by Helicobacter contribute to the development of headaches. For example, digestive infections can cause low progesterone women and it is well known that progesterone deficiency can cause headaches, particularly during the second half of the menstrual cycle. In addition, food sensitivities, possibly triggered by H. pylori may also contribute to headaches and migraines.”*

In theory, the antibioitics should by now have killed H. Pilori which means that if the headache is in any way connected to the bacteria, then my headache should have gone (which it hasn’t). There is nonetheless a chance H. Pilori is still present and I need to get re-tested in three months’ time to see whether this is the case.

Day 715 - Low Stomach Acid Headaches

“Individuals suffering from headaches related to low stomach acid have the option to resolve not only the headaches, but also most of the other symptoms associated with low acid, such as bloating, or heartburn-like symptoms following a larger meal.

Considerations may include lemon or lime water, or they may supplement a digestive aid containing Glutamic acid + Betaine + Pepsin, or they may try Bromelain, which is a better choice if they suffer from acid reflux and low stomach acid (which is possible). Acidophilus, or any of the 'Probiotic' friendly bacteria formulations could also be taken on a regular basis, with the best time being right at bedtime. This assures re-seeding of the "good" bacteria overnight, which will subsequently lessen any early morning symptoms such as nausea or headaches that are experienced by some of those suffering from low stomach acid.

Since the Helicobacter Pylori bacteria is a common cause for low stomach acid (as well as ulcers, cancer, asthma, gum, and heart disease), it may be worthwhile to be tested for a possible infection, and if found positive, undergo appropriate therapy.”*

*http://www.acu-cell.com/dis-hpy.html

The headache’s second year anniversary is coming up soon, although this year it doesn’t seem to be as big a deal as it was last year. Maybe it is because I have lived with it for so long now that two years seems to be no different from one. Maybe it is because I would rather just push the thought to the back of my mind.

I have been suffering from bad stomach aches for a few weeks which has made, of course, me wonder if they are connected to the headache. My stomach has come up as a potential cause for the headache on various occasions with the kinesiologist. I have no idea as to what the source of the pain could be - possibly a bacteria, or maybe stomach acidity. The kinesiologist has suggested I get checked for Helicobacter Pilori.

The discomfort of the stomach aches which have now persisted for over a month have made me once again realise how one gets use to pain as I have caught myself on various occasions wishing for the tummy ache to go away and for the pain to move to the head. I have evidently got so used to the headache that discomfort in other parts of my body nearly feels unnatural, so to speak.

I thought the stomach ache was the cause of something I ate, but given its somewhat abnormal duration I have decided to go and see a gastroenterologist. Again, an odd bit of hope that this may be the cause of the headache that is manifesting itself two years down the line.

Day 673 - Chiari Malformations

"In 1891, Austrian pathologist Hans von Chiari described certain hindbrain abnormalities as postmortem findings in infants; these came to be known as Chiari malformations.

Chiari malformations (CMs) are structural defects in the cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls balance. When the indented bony space at the lower rear of the skull is smaller than normal, the cerebellum and brainstem can be pushed downward. The resulting pressure on the cerebellum can block the flow of cerebrospinal fluid (the liquid that surrounds and protects the brain and spinal cord) and can cause a range of symptoms including dizziness, muscle weakness, numbness, vision problems, headache, and problems with balance and coordination.

There are three primary types of CM. The most common is Type I, which may not cause symptoms and is often found by accident during an examination for another condition. Type II (also called Arnold-Chiari malformation) is usually accompanied by a myelomeningocele-a form of spina bifida that occurs when the spinal canal and backbone do not close before birth, causing the spinal cord to protrude through an opening in the back. This can cause partial or complete paralysis below the spinal opening. Type III is the most serious form of CM, and causes severe neurological defects. Other conditions sometimes associated with CM include hydrocephalus, syringomyelia, and spinal curvature.

Medications may ease certain symptoms, such as pain, although many people with Type I are asymptomatic and do not know they have the condition. Many patients with the more severe types of CM and have surgery see a reduction in their symptoms and/or prolonged periods of relative stability, although paralysis is generally permanent. Surgery is the only treatment available to correct functional disturbances or halt the progression of damage to the central nervous system."

*http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/chiari.htm
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/406849-overview

I recently had a comment on the Hemicrania Continua post from someone who has been diagnosed with Chiari malformation. Given that I do not yet have a post on this condition, I thought it would be interesting to write a few lines about it, especially as recently various people have mentioned that they are familiarizing themselves with new conditions via my blog. And I have to admit I find it fascinating, albeit at the same time very daunting, to learn how many different conditions have constant headache as one of their symptoms. It goes to show how complex and how intricately connected all parts of the human body are.

And I wonder how many other conditions exist with headache as a primary symptom, which modern medicine has not yet familiarised itself with.

Some of the websites I have read which detail the symptoms of Chiari state that at times an MRI is not sufficient, and that a CT scan can better detect any possible signs of the condition. I myself have had both, so can say I most probably do not have Chiari malformations. Yet again, something to tick off the ‘I most probably do not have this’ box.

As Christmas once again creeps up on us, I am approaching year two of my permanent headache. I feel I have made some progress since it started, albeit only in terms of being able to eliminate what it could not be. As to what is really is, I still do not have a clue. At times I sit back and wonder whether I should not be more worried about this wretched headache and about what it could possibly be, but it has got to a point where I simply push that thought to the back of my mind. I try and forget that I have had this miserable and mysterious headache for so long, this headache which has no doubt altered the course of my life and has put me on a life path that maybe I would not have followed. The only thought I can reassure myself with is that, as I have mentioned before, it has probably made me into a stronger person and enabled me to cope with a condition I previously would have thought I would never have been able to put up with.

Day 632 - Black Walnut (Juglans Nigra)

"The leaves of English walnut trees, Juglans regia L., also known as European walnut, have been used medicinally for thousands of years particularly for treating skin disorders. English walnut is native to southeastern Europe, Asia Minor, India and China.

The leaves are considered astringent, and insecticidal against bedbugs and mites (i.e. scabies). The famous herbalist, Nicholas Culpeper, used European walnut to "kill worms in the stomach or belly". The juice of the green husk was boiled with honey and used as a gargle for sore mouth and throat and to relieve heat and inflammation in the throat and stomach.

Walnut leaf today is most often used externally as an astringent for treating eczema, herpes and ulcers. The leaves of black walnut are most often used to treat hemorrhoids as well as liver and gallbladder problems. In folk medicine, black walnut leaf was also given to relieve headache, hepatitis, and skin conditions, although there is little evidence to back up these claims. The walnut’s active compound, juglone, isolated from black walnut, has been shown to be a laxative, fight worms, and have strong activity against bacteria and abnormal growths."*

*http://store.healingifts.com/blwaleexor.html

The headache has been pretty stable the whole summer, hovering between 1 and 2; I only had one flair-up which lasted a couple of days, and was only about a 5. I say ‘only a 5’ because those of you who also suffer from a constant headache know that 5 is bad but perfectly bearable. I have not had a 9 for a long time now luckily. I dread to remember what it was like.

I saw the kinesiologist again a week ago. When muscle testing me, ‘bacteria’ came up a few times; whether this is a possible bacteria I caught when travelling in South America this summer or a cause of the headache I do not know; he gave me black walnut drops to take for a few weeks.

I have recently had a number of postings on my blog - thank you everyone - although sadly many of those who have commented have had some terrible side effects from the medicines they have been taking to quell the headache. I cannot stress how much my headache has improved since those horrific first few months, and only through natural methods. I myself felt the urge to take some strong medicines at the very beginning when the haunting headache was horrendously bad but I opted out of this option having read what side effects some of these have.

I know natural remedies, as a general rule, take longer to have an effect on our organism but this is not a reason to discard them; western medicines may have an immediate effect but they all have side-effects of one sort or another. The stronger the medicine, the stronger the side effect. I know my headache has not gone away but it is better - all I am trying to say to those of you who suffer from a similar condition is to try some natural remedies first before moving onto potent medicines.

Day 545 - Colon Cleansing

"Why, suddenly, has colon cleansing (detoxification) become so necessary? Many argue that our grandparents did not use colon cleansers and they survived pretty well. The answer is simple: times have changed. Our eating habits have changed and our dietary intake has altered radically since the old days. Our grandparents, like their parents before them, lived on a healthy high-fibre diet of whole foods such as fresh garden vegetables and plenty of unprocessed fruit.

Our food intake in today's rushed, modern world is very different. About 90 percent of the foods that we consume on a daily basis is processed or refined in some way. These refined foods keep depositing toxic waste in our body. The foods (including sugar and flour) make us extremely susceptible to serious intestinal problems.

Over six thousand chemicals are used to process foods. The food that we eat every day is refined, genetically engineered, preserved, coloured, and treated with a mixture of insecticides, chemicals, and hormones. That means that not only do we eat very little roughage to encourage healthy intestinal function, but the constant chemicals, preservatives and colorants that we consume also have a devastating effect on the digestive tract.

What happens when the colon becomes sluggish or constipated? This results in toxic poison building up as the result of multiplying bacteria when foodstuffs travel too slowly through the intestines during the evacuation process. These toxins then enter the bloodstream via the colon. That's why chronic constipation poses such a dangerous health risk.

So, the single most dangerous threat to your colon is, of course, your diet. Depending on your daily food intake, your low-fiber, high processed, refined and chemically laced food intake is a serious health risk. In today's modern world, we are actually poisoning ourselves little by little, each and every day.”*

*http://www.articlesbase.com/supplements-and-vitamins-articles/colon-cleanse-the-single-most-dangerous-threat-to-your-colon-1754106.html

I remember hearing about a detox programme a couple of years ago through a friend of mine. Hers involved sipping some horrible sounding ‘soup’ for a few weeks or so, after which she had to slowly reintroduce certain foods, starting with little nibbles of salad or boiled vegetables so as not to give her system too much of a shock having not eaten anything solid at all for so long.

No wonder I was reluctant to try the Colonix detox programme that my mother suggested I give a go. ‘You’ve tried everything for your headache, I don’t understand why you won’t just try this too’, she said to me. At the time, my mother had been on the programme for three months and had seen great results - she felt a lot more energetic and generally a lot healthier.

I eventually gave in and thought ‘what the heck, might as well’ - it just gets to a point where you’re willing to try everything. ‘What if I don’t try it and it’s the key to solving my headache?’ - that’s the question that runs through my head virtually every time someone suggests trying out something new. I took the Colonix for a few months. As I have been based abroad for work, I couldn’t have gone back to see the kinesiologist anyway and I had finished all the tablets he had given me. I was therefore not following any specific diet nor was I on any programme of sorts. So why not give it a go?

I was rather frightened by the possible effects of taking the Colonix - look at their webpage and the testimonial photos and you will no doubt understand why I am using the word ‘frightened’. My mother was convinced I was harbouring some sort of a bacteria or parasite which would soon be released thanks to the potency of this combination of herbal ingredients.

I have now finished the three month programme and I do admit feeling better. My headache has stabilised to a 1/2, albeit with the occasional flair up - only once did I get an 8 which was dreadful but luckily it didn’t last for too long. As I have mentioned on a number of occasions, one forgets how bad the pain is until it comes back, your head thumping away, your field of vision obscuring as little flashy stars appear in front of you, a wave of nausea running through you and an untold desire to lie down and close your eyes taking control of your mind and body.

The headache has definitely not gone, it still very much haunts me every living second, but it’s better, which is an improvement. I am seeing the kinesiologist again in a few days - I’d be interested to see what comes up when he muscle tests me.

Day 500 - Occipital Neuralgia

“Occipital neuralgia is a term used to describe a cycle of pain-spasm-pain originating from the suboccipital area (base) of the skull that often radiates to the back, front, and side of the head, as well as behind the eyes.

The occipital nerves are two pairs of nerves that originate in the area of the second and third vertebrae of the neck. While most people's nerve roots originate in similar places on the spine, cadaver studies show a wide variety of differences between individuals as to the course of the nerves once they leave the spinal column. Often the nerves follow a curving course that passes through various muscles in the upper back, neck and head.

These nerves supply areas of the skin along the base of the skull and partially behind the ear. While the occipital nerves do not directly connect with structures within the skull itself, they do interconnect with other nerves outside of the skull and form a continuous neural network that can affect any given area through which any of the main nerves or their branch fibers pass.

Occipital neuralgia occurs more often in women than men. It can have many causes such as trauma (a direct blow or "whiplash"); spinal column compression; nerve lesions; localized infections or inflammation; gout; diabetes; blood vessel inflammation; and local tumors.

Commonly, the nerves are inflamed and sensitive because they are trapped within the muscles through which they pass. Muscle spasm and pain are often associated with nerve entrapment, which causes localized pain, spasm and muscle cramping.

Symptoms include the following:

- Headaches that are localized or following a "ram's horn" pattern on the side of the head, often starting in the upper neck or base of the skull. It can be one-sided or on both sides.
- Scalp that is tender to the touch, often hypersensitive. Even brushing your hair can be a painful experience.
- Pain or pressure behind the eyes. Eyes are very sensitive to light especially when the headache is present.

Many conditions can show symptoms similar to those found with occipital neuralgia. Treatment of occipital neuralgia may involve oral medications that are designed to reduce inflammation and spasms, localized therapeutic injections, physical therapy, massage, and heat.”*

*http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/536/main.html

I thought I would post something on occipital neuralgia as someone recently mentioned looking into this condition. My type of headache doesn’t seem to correspond to that described above, in particular as I do not suffer from muscle spasms. One reader of this blog recently commented on the hemicrania continua post about having an indescribably severe headache which manifests itself with severe muscle spasms. Occipital neuralgia could be something he could look into if he hasn’t yet. His story nearly brought me to tears.

The number of comments recently posted on my blog under the hemicrania continua post go to show how many people seem to suffer from this condition. Sadly most of the people who I have been in touch with have not as yet had much relief from the medicines they were prescribed. I still remain convinced (and I am sure many of you do) that there must be an intricate reason for the onset and continuation of our headaches. What this is, in my case, as no doubt in many others, still remains a mystery.

There have been a few days in which the headache has flared up, and every time I manage to forget how bad it can get. Being tired doesn’t help. Sleeping too much doesn’t seem to help either. Finding a constant balance is what I need to do. I also got a bit of a cold the other day which revived the headache, making it thump away - although that was a ‘cold headache’ on top of the ‘normal’ headache.

It has now been nearly a year and a half.

Compared to others who have commented on my blog, it’s no time at all. What is my body trying to tell me? What is going on in there? Sometimes I wish I could just crack my head open and see what’s going on.

The kinesiologist was not around when I was back in the UK so I did not manage to see him this time round. I went for some acupuncture - the acupuncturist always manages to pinpoint the pain and stick a needle right in it; as the needle enters that part of my head, my head feels like a balloon deflating. The pain remains but in some ways I feel like I have caught it, pinpointed it, willing to stab it and kill it once and for all. But, alas, it perseveres.

Day 449 - Swearing

"That muttered curse word that reflexively comes out when you stub your toe could actually make it easier to bear the throbbing pain, a new study suggests. Swearing is a common response to pain, but no previous research has connected the uttering of an expletive to the actual physical experience of pain.

"Swearing has been around for centuries and is an almost universal human linguistic phenomenon," said Richard Stephens of Keele University in England and one of the authors of the new study. "It taps into emotional brain centers and appears to arise in the right brain, whereas most language production occurs in the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain."

Stephens and his fellow Keele researchers John Atkins and Andrew Kingston sought to test how swearing would affect an individual's tolerance to pain. Because swearing often has an exaggerating effect that can overstate the severity of pain, the team thought that swearing would lessen a person's tolerance. As it turned out, the opposite seems to be true.

The researchers enlisted 64 undergraduate volunteers and had them submerge their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible while repeating a swear word of their choice. The experiment was then repeated with the volunteer repeating a more common word that they would use to describe a table.

Contrary to what the researcher expected, the volunteers kept their hands submerged longer while repeating the swear word. The researchers think that the increase in pain tolerance occurs because swearing triggers the body's natural “fight-or flight” response. Stephens and his colleagues suggest that swearing may increase aggression (seen in accelerated heart rates), which downplays weakness to appear stronger or more macho. "Our research shows one potential reason why swearing developed and why it persists," Stephens said."*

*http://www.livescience.com/health/090712-swearing-pain.html

I have not posted for a while as the headache has been at its best for the past few weeks - up until a few days ago. I got a bit of a cold and since then the headache seems to have partly shifted to the left hand side which is proving to be a complete and utter nightmare as I am not used to the pain being there. I can’t even seem to be able to figure out what level out of 10 it is as the pain has never been on the left hand side for so long.

The other day, when it first moved about, I had a headache on top of the headache. That was a bit of a nightmare - it’s incredible what the body can get used to, and how one can feel two headaches simultaneously. It’s hard to explain unless you have experienced it first hand. I am sure that before the headache started I would not have been able to imagine experiencing two headaches concurrently.

And, once again, I forgot how bad the headache was - when it subsides you can never really picture how forceful the pain had previously been.

I also woke up a few days ago with an unbelievable pain in my teeth and jaw. I felt as if I had spent the night furiously grinding my teeth (I still regularly wear the mouth guard I was given by the dentist one year ago) - not sure if it was due to the headache pain, or possibly just a bad nightmare. Rather odd though as I woke up with my teeth and gums in complete agony. This makes me think the headache could be related to the jaw, but I have had that tested on various occasions and it doesn’t seem to be that..

Let’s just hope all the pain moves back to the right as I feel I am able to cope with it much better when it’s on that side - I guess, once again, it just goes to show how used to pain we become. Maybe I should just swear more to make the pain more tolerable, as the study above seems to suggest.

Day 428 - Pain

'We forget very easily what gives us pain.' - Graham Greene

"Pain is a simple enough concept to grasp. You stub your toe, shout, perhaps utter a few expletives, rub it better and it eventually fades. But neuroscientists are realising that pain is much more complex than anyone thought possible, comprising not just physical sensations, but emotional ones too. Pioneering studies are providing insights into why some people experience debilitating chronic pain long after an injury has healed, as well as why some are more prone to pain than others, and why certain people never recover from bereavement.

While most pain goes away as an injury gets better, sometimes it remains for months or even years, long outlasting its original purpose. Chronic physical pain is debilitating and can cause disability, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. It is also very common.

No one really knows why some people experience chronic pain and others do not, but imaging studies at Northwestern University, Chicago, have found a series of abnormalities in the brains of chronic pain sufferers in which the part linked to decision-making (the prefrontal cortex) is reduced, while an area of the prefrontal cortex linked to emotion is hyperactive. What is known for certain is that the brain changes in those with chronic pain so that they experience pain differently from the way they did before.

We all have a system for suppressing pain when necessary so that we can flee attackers even when injured. Those who suffer from chronic pain appear unable to access this and cannot use distraction as a means of suppressing pain; their brains seem to amplify pain signals rather than inhibit them.

Neuroscience is also revealing a host of similarities between emotional and physical pain. Professor David Alexander, the director of the Aberdeen Centre for Trauma Research, is not surprised about the link between physical and emotional pain. “If you listen to people who are damaged emotionally, they will often translate their pain into physical similes: ‘my head is bursting, my guts are aching', and so on. The parallel is very strong.”*

*http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4397377.ece

As I have mentioned on a number of occasions, the headache has created paradoxical feelings in me - on the one hand, I feel I want people to know about it as it could justify any incongruous behaviour, such as feeling dejected, short tempered or angry at inappropriate times; on the other hand, I don’t want people to know about it as I don’t want them to see me any differently than they would someone else.

But even those who know, after a while, stop asking you how you are, they stop asking about your headache, because they forget. But the awful thing is that I can never forget because the headache is always with me.

It’s odd, though, how easily one forgets about pain - when the headache is at its strongest you are taken aback by the amount of pain it causes because in that intermittent period of time in which the pain was bearable, you forgot how bad it really was.

And in a similar way, people forget, because most of us who have these inexplicable headaches don’t tend to have any other visible symptoms, which naturally leads people to forget about the fact that you’re in constant pain. But we ourselves are incapable of forgetting about our headache, because it never leaves us.

Many people have asked me if I can forget about the pain, but how can you? Sometimes you get distracted for a few minutes and of course you focus on something else, but the pain is always there, always reminding you of its presence. It makes you wonder if another person would be able to cope any better. Would they be able to put up with the pain too? How used to the pain have I got? According to a study mentioned above, the brain changes in those with chronic pain so that they experience pain differently from the way they did before. This makes me question how much (or how little) I feel pain in comparison to others. I sometimes wonder what would happen if someone else lived in my body - how long would they be able to put up with the pain for before handing it back to me and imploring me to take it?

I just cannot imagine what it would be like not to have a headache. I can picture an immediate feeling of lightness. Just imagine! My head always feels so heavy, so burdensome.